BLOG 7 – Bread

I like bread.  White rather than brown.  Crusty rather than soft.  Warm from the oven and spread with melted butter.  Real butter.  None of that spreadable spread stuff.  Proper butter containing proper salt.  With a bit of Marmite rather than marmalade.  Marmalade rather than jam but sometimes a lemon curd binge does the trick. 

And where best to eat bread?  That’s right Geoffrey[1].  In a bakery.  Not any old bakery, but one where you can watch them bake the bread before your very eyes.

Of course, we didn’t just pile into bed on our first night.  Because we didn’t have the palaver of pitching a tent it meant we had oodles of time to go and wander about a bit.  From Hook Farm its about a 45 minute down hill walk into Lyme Regis, all alongside the river.  Very pleasant.  We were hungry and were in search of some fodder.  The campsite shop told us about dog friendly places to eat and the pub opposite the clock by the beach was one such place.  It has a real name – probably The Ship or The Anchor or The Lighthouse or The Pub Opposite the Clock by the Beach or some other nautical name.  So that’s where we headed.  The pub was part time local and part time tourist trap.  We felt as though we were in both camps so ventured inside.  The restauranty bit at the back, which is taking a bit of a liberty with its description, was neither inviting nor full, which left us in a dilemma about whether to eat there or not.  We were kind of hoping it would be full so we wouldn’t have too, but at the same time we were hungry.  Dilemma over then. 

The local beer was good – no idea what it was called but I had 2 or 3 of them.  Didn’t like the sticky menus though

Dear Points Of View,  Why oh why oh why do pub menus have to be sticky?

Some things are made to be sticky.

  • Toffee Puddings… A Big Yes. 
  • Toffee Apples…Yes. 
  • Toffee…Obviously. 
  • Things similar in appearance to sticks… tenuously, Yes. 
  • People called Vicky… of course. 
  • Pub Menus?  Not in my book[2] mate. 

I can’t remember what we had to eat.  I think I had a tame curry and Sarah had something fishy.  I think we ate it all and I think we had pudding too.  All in, I think we enjoyed our din dins within the context of where we were.  Conker had chewey sticks.  They are bland.  I tried one once and they don’t taste of anything.  Although it whets Conker’s appetite just by mentioning the words Chewey Stick.  Conker’s drool is as slippy as slippy gets.  It’s sloppy too.  Slippy sloppy slip slop.  And despite its slippy properties it’s really difficult to get off your hands?  Yuckiddy Yuck Yuck

With our bellies full and a 45 minute hike in the dark back up the hill ahead of us we decided to take the bus – not ours, but a public transport version. 

The pub by the clock by the beach is not the only culinary offering in Lyme Regis.  Oh no…  The following morning – once we’d packed up the tin tent[3] we ventured back into Lyme Regis Central. 

White Bread Cruncy Toast with Proper Butter & Jam

We left Conks in the bus and made for the Town Bakery.  Basically you find a place on one of the four long benches, squeezing in between those already there, place your tea/coffee order then go help yourself to any bread going.  You can toast it, eat it neat, spread real butter on it, smear it with local honey or jam, fill your face then go back for more.  Big Big bowls of homemade muesli were also on offer.  Absolute heaven if you’re a carrot crunching rabbit.  And whilst you scoffed away the Bakers were busily baking.  A really relaxing way to have breakfast.  Nobody kept check on what we ate or drank and payment was based upon your own memory of what you had.   We had just the one slice between us… thanks. 

You can get a lot of bread for your hard earned dough.  If we could trade in bread our dough stocks would have risen nicely which technically meant we could have ended up with more dough than we started with.  Quite simple really – you just need to use your loaf.  We’d definitely eat there again.  At lunch time you make your own pizzas.  What a fab place and such a great idea.  Probably the best idea since sliced bread.[4] Although the irony is you have to slice your own bread, so really its an idea that’s exactly as good as sliced bread!!

[1]    Geoffrey – as in Rainbow’s Geoffrey.  “That’s Right Geoffrey” is the stock response from Bungle to Geoffrey’s dunce-like questions.  You can catch George and Zippy’s responses here on youtube.  Stick with the video.  It gets better.  Well kind of.

[2]    I don’t have a book you could call ‘my book’, although I like the idea of having one that you could fill with your own rules.  It should be the law that you have a ‘book’.  In my book it would be the law anyway.

[3]    Packing up meant folding the bed back into its seat position, pulling the pop top back down, closing the doors and starting the engine. 

[4]    Does each idea that’s the best idea since sliced bread usurp the previous idea that was better than sliced bread?  If so, the very first idea to follow sliced bread that was actually better than sliced bread will be way down the list of ideas that are better than sliced bread.


One comment on “BLOG 7 – Bread

  1. Tracey says:

    Glue, sticky tape, sticky dots, fly paper. Just a few more things that are meant to be sticky!

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